Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
