my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Randomize
