i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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