Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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