i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
