It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize