i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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