On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i think i have herpe
just one?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
