we're blogging at a bar
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
