is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
