He is an equal opportunity slut.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize