I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
