You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
