My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
