I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
