It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
