i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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