Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize