North Korea, Best Korea!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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