Non-Jews are for practice
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i came on her dog
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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