the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
