I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How does it feel to date your dad?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
