got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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