i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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