You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
