youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Are we still banned from the library?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
