I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize