Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
