is your mom at the bar?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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