Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
