a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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