White coat. Heels.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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