Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
