The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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