HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's never too late to be topless.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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