just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
