We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
