I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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