I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
