I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i may or may not be watching the land before time
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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