im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My butt remains clenched, sir.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
