I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
