Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
