You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize