I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
