I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I FOUND THE LEGS
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
