yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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