This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
