ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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