He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
