If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
