He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
