so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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