I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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