shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm too high and old for this...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
