you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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