He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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