I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
